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Maito Gai

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(no subject) [Dec. 27th, 2005|06:41 am]
Maito Gai
YOSH! My training has been getting the best of me, I haven't been updating for awhile. ;___;- I TRULY APOLOGIZE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY PASSIONATE HEART! I WILL DO 1000 SPIRITED JUMPING JACKS~!

In a remarkably strange twist of events, I was planning to become gloriously inebriated meet a fascinating friend of mine at the bar but some chuunins stopped me from going inside. Perhaps they were renovating...

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(no subject) [Nov. 7th, 2005|01:37 pm]
Maito Gai
Lee, Tenten, Neji. I’m filled with unrivaled joy that you returned to Konoha safely. Though, think it’s best if you were to double your efforts in your passionate training while inside the village. Remember, the greatest strength of a shinobi is their wonderful family like team, so move as one. You are not to enter the training centers alone.

Just a question, but which dedicated shinobi is on border patrol?

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(no subject) [Oct. 2nd, 2005|07:29 am]
Maito Gai
It was something that not even I, Konoha’s number one jounin with a strong keen mind, could expect. Kurenai… and Kakashi… on a date. MY MOST TRUSTED FRIEND AND MY ETERNAL RIVAL ARE IN PASSIONATE LOVE AFFAIR!!!! AND THEY DID NOT CONFIDE IN ME?!

The betrayal plunges through my heart like a steel kunai!! And I am not upset because Kakashi managed to land a date before I could… THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!

And of the children?! What about them; what sort of example are we setting for the poor innocent youthful buds of Konoha by engaging in such scandalous behaviors in public, Kurenai-san?! I understand that this passion is deep rooted in the souls of ALL people, but as exemplary role models we must show restraint!!! Even my pure hearted Neji has been involved with the co-ed “extracurricular activities” and then there was Ino and Tenten… whatever happened to them.

I propose that it is time to rally my students to finally give them “the talk.” Perhaps… I should teach them through the medium of dance… YES! AND MUSIC! YOSH! I AM A GENIUS!!

*nice guy pose*
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(no subject) [Aug. 22nd, 2005|07:29 am]
Maito Gai
Tenten~ YOUR EXCELLENT PROGRESS IS MOST AWE-INSPIRING! I'm sure that my adorable Lee-kun everyone will be most proud! My heart overflows with such extreme pride and joy~ T.T<3<3<3

Our first training session was a complete success! When she came to me and asked "Could you help me with blind archery"- I TOLD HER I COULD DO BETTER! Then I flashed her my best nice guy pose and trademark teeth glean! I had brought a training suit in her size too, just in case she changed her mind

And thusly, I, as she stated before, trained her passionately. SHE DID FANTASTIC! SHE MANAGED NOT TO PIERCE ME WITH A KUNAI AT ALL! She did not hit any of her targets, but that will come in time.

Then I had her run laps with adorable breakable froggy cups on her head! What luck that I found them discarded on the ground! Now I didn't have to try and use my cute turtle cups instead. :D:D:D:D I figured I should start off slow for her, seeing as her passionate training has been lacking in a bit. Originally, I wanted her to do laps around the training center with me balancing on her shoulders and weights around her ankles.

Next training session, I PROMISE TO DO SO TENTEN! SHOW THE WORLD YOUR AMAZING SKILLS OF WEAPONRY!



Tenten... is Neji's maid of honor?! I HAVE YET TO RECEIVE AN INVITATION~! I had been recently trying to get a hold of my genius, Neji-kun, to, you know. Give him "The Talk" but he has been made unavailable everytime I approach him. NEJI-KUN, WHAT COULD BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN TIME WITH YOUR OLD SENSEI!!!

*Goes off to stalk Neji*
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(no subject) [Aug. 11th, 2005|11:58 am]
Maito Gai
I had been sadly slacking on my exuberant training I was staying up all night pacing in my room waiting for my precious Lee-kun to return so I had thought, "YOSH! Wouldn't it be great if I chopped down some trees with a simple kunai with one arm tied behind my back!" and proceeded to go to the training grounds to do so.

On my way there, I saw one of my brilliantly talented students, Neji-kun, back from his strange and full of ambiguous situations glorious mission. "NEJI-KUN!!!" I said with a proud booming, and all around manly, voice, "HELLO!" However, he seemed distant. He didn't acknowledge my resonating presence nor greeted me in return, he didn't even blanche as usual.

So, I notice, then Tenten wandering around. "HELLO TENTEN! HOW ARE YOU?!"

She, unlike Neji returned my enthusiastic greeting with her own, "HELLO GAI-SENSEI! I'M HAPPY! VERY HAPPY! FUN AND HAPPY!"

"YOSH! THAT IS FANTASTIC NEWS! WOULD YOU LIKE TO CHOP DOWN TREES WITH A SINGLE KUNAI AND ONE ARM TIED BEHIND YOUR BACK!!"

Her enthusiasm seemed to dissipate as she mumbled something about preparations for the festival OH THAT'S RIGHT! I MUST START PRACTICING MY VOCAL CORDS!!!

However, as I began to leave Tenten said that she might want to train.

And I tripped and landed strait on my face and stayed there in silence for many long minutes. "RE-REALLY TENTEN?!?!!?!?!"

"Might"

"... You did not perhaps ingest anything that I had made any time soon, have you?"

"No."

"YOSH! GLAD TO HEAR not like that it's a BAD thing or anything! OH! Do you want a training suit like mine! I conveniently have one in your size hanging in the closet with one in Neji-s size!

"No."

"But~"

"No."

Then Neji's name came into passing, and I learned, that in fact Neji is engaged to that vile girl who had hurt my precious Tenten before. BWHAA?!?! HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED, AND I RECEIVED NO INVITATION TO THE ENGAGEMENT PARTY!! I asked Tenten if she knew he [my spirited pupil, Neji] loved her [the slightly bitter sand girl, Temari], and Tenten seemed rather tired when she answered that they had kissed. KISSED!

I wonder if anyone has ever given him the talk. I think perhaps, as his responsible teacher, I shall.

It's as if, when my precious student Lee left, everything in Konoha no longer makes sense. RETURN SOON I'm so confused!!!!
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(no subject) [Aug. 2nd, 2005|03:43 pm]
Maito Gai
It's been days since my adorable pupil has left after his precious person. OMGLEE-KUNWHEREAREYOU. I'm not worried, I have complete faith in the strength of my youthful student, with his passionate determination and stupendous taijutsu skills, SURELY HE WILL COME BACK 110% BETTER! LEE, COME BACK SAFELY!!!!!. NO THERE I'M NOT WORRIED ONE BIT 0_o;!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE SHALL RETURN HEROICLY UNSCRATCHED AND UNHARMED!! DEAR GOD HOW FAR DID THEY TAKE SAKURA?! SURELY A RESCUE MISSION DOESN'T TAKE THIS LONG WITH LEE'S SENSATION SPEED! Perhaps that Sasuke boy is slowing him down. Kakashi-san I thought you would teach your pupils better. NOPE I'M PERFECTLY AND SERENELY RELAXED!

That hole in the floor of my house IS NOT from my pacing, it was there before. And just because I haven't slept since he left doesn't make me sick. I am just termendously busy with doing important and manly things...
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(no subject) [Jul. 24th, 2005|03:36 pm]
Maito Gai
I had woken up and done my daily passionate one legged backwards laps around gates of Konoha and then went to the training area to await my adorable pupil Lee-kun for our daily exercises. However, noticing that Lee-kun was an entire five minutes late I rushed to his house to see what could have possibly delayed my most punctual of students.

Lo and behold, a letter was addressed to me.

LEE HAD LEFT AFTER SAKURA! BWHAAA?!?! I instantly conjured up so many weapons and scrolls that even I, the super strong and fast Blue Beast of Konoha, could not carry them. I soon realized that even though I am worried about my student, I musn't go after him- he must protect his precious person. Lee-kun must choose his own path so that he grow out of my shadow.

I WISH YOU THE STRENGTH OF THE PAST GREAT HOKAGES AND THE SPEED OF THE MIGHTY WIND! Be safe

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(no subject) [Jul. 17th, 2005|01:29 am]
Maito Gai
I have completely decided that yes, 28 is not old at all! MY YOUTH IS STILL WITHIN MY BODY! I CAN STILL BE "hip".

To embrace my new stance on life, I thought it would be appropriate to hang out with the "younger" "hipper" crowd of chuunins no offense to the old people, like Kurenai, Asuma, Genma, and the like. Yosh! I fit right in! WAS SO AWESOME THAT THEY COULD NOT STOP STARING AT ME IN utter confusion AWE! I began to play with the idea of playing with my image, but I was convinced that my lustrous hair and my spiffy youthful jumpsuit was already "cool"

YOSH! After my daily finger pushups, I think I'm going to "hang out" some more. *nice guy pose* I would invite my team over but they always seem to be on mission! LEE-KUN! LET US TRAIN TOGETHER AGAIN SO WHEN OUR WONDERFUL AND EXCEPTIONAL TEAM COMES TOGETHER WE WILL HAVE ALREADY GROWN IN BURSTING STRENGTH! <3<3<3

Kurenai-san? Would you happen to know it there will be a karaoke bar contest at the festival *glares around fo Kakashi*

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(no subject) [Jul. 1st, 2005|08:58 pm]
Maito Gai
Today, had gone though its usual SPECTACULAR GREAT MORNING full of the wondrous adventures of life. As I was grocery shopping spending my incredibly hard earned savings on the essentials to help ensure that I keep my healthy and youthful ways of life, I noticed a passionate young mother and her adorable little son.

"YOSH!" I said unto him- graciously giving him my nice guy pose, "YOU, FINE YOUNG MAN! GROW STRONG AND WORK HARD!"

"Mommy. Why is that creepy old guy talking to me?"

Old?

...Old?

Could it be? That the brilliant light of my youth is slowly fading? Has Father Time pushed me away from my prime?

NEVER!

I SHALL NOT FALL IN DEFEAT TO THESE CONSTRAINTS!

I am as brilliant and youthful as ever! I CAN BE HIP AS THE NEXT YOUNG PERSON!

Just watch! I am going to do something so sensational, people we gawk in awe! I'M NOT OLD!!!!


JUST YOU WAIT!

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(no subject) [Jun. 14th, 2005|07:21 pm]
Maito Gai
[Current Mood |giddygiddy]

KAKASHI, I SO UNBELIEVABLY OWNED YOU ON THE DANCE FLOOR IT MAKES SMALL GENINS CRY!!!!

So, in other exciting and relevant news, the entire Jounin Dinner was a complete and utter success, I enthusiastically congratulate all the people human resources team for a PHENOMENAL time. Your sheer and back breaking work paid off! YOSH!!!

Kurenai-san, you dance with a thousands times the grace of eloquent swans! You danced with me A LOT better than Kakashi. And I must apologize with all my soul, I DID NOT MEAN TO RUIN YOUR BEAUTIFUL SHOES by stepping on your toes so much!!! I WILL DO A THOUSAND PUSH-UPS WITH MY LEGS TIED TO BOULDERS! T.T

I don't remember too much near the end though, as is the delightful Anko and I were in a heated drinking match battle and my memory got a little fuzzy after awhile. I do believe it's her "Take a shot everytime the two males on your team bicker" that was particularly bad for me, but the fact that Ibiki had threatened the life of every biological lifeform that existed within earshot was my trump card. I don't really remember who won...

By the way Shizune-san. I've never seen you so red. Or... loose. You should get drunk more often. Or was it Genma's presence

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Kurenai-san ONLYCollapse )

Lately I've been looking into the most EXCITING and RIVETING sport of turtle racing. YOSH! I'm thinking about enlisting my youthful, and strangely handsome, turtle- Herbert. TURTLES ARE NOT SLOW! I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU ALL! T.T
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